看见也是一种权利——《看见日记》电子版序言 / Seeing is A Right: Preface to the e-version of “Seeing Diary”

从今年2月开始写《看见日记》以来，我一直有着一个信念：每个人都渴望被看见，而要让别人看见，首先让自己看见。于是我认为，《看见日记》一定是一种非常私密的表达，私密到这个宇宙中将不会有第二个智慧生物阅读里面的内容，里面不仅记载着我内心最深的恐惧、羞愧和不安，更记载着我对自己的不接纳，我难以想象这样的内容我敢让谁看到。

Since February of this year when I started writing the “Seeing Diary“, I have had a belief that everyone yearns to be seen, and before to let others see you, you must first see yourself. Therefore, I believe that the “Seeing Diary” is a very private expression, so private that no other being in this universe will ever see its contents. It not only records my deepest fears, shame, and unease, but also my non-acceptance of myself. I can hardly imagine allowing anyone to see such contents.

而决定用电子版的方式写《看见日记》，意味着我平日写作时潦草的字迹难以让人读懂，也意味着我认为将会有人要来看我的《看见日记》。

Deciding to write the “Seeing Diary” in electronic format means that my hastily written handwriting, which is difficult for people to read during my usual writing process, would not be a problem. It also means that I believe there will be people who want to read my the “Seeing Diary“.

最近我处在一段关系中，这也让我有更多的机会去思考亲密关系中的看见与被看见。在我此前的理解中，我认为亲密关系中的爱，就是看见——我看见了你。我看见了你的情绪、我看见了你的需要，而且我也接纳你的这部分。这些也正是《看见日记》所指向自己的。在《看见日记》中，我看见我，所以我爱我。在亲密关系中，我看见你，所以我爱你。

Recently, I have been in a relationship that has led me to think more about seeing and being seen in intimate relationships. Previously, my understanding was that love in an intimate relationship means seeing—I see you. I see your emotions, I see your needs, and I accept this part of you. This is also what the “Seeing Diary” is all about – I see myself, so I love myself. In an intimate relationship, I see you, so I love you.

现在，我对关系中的看见又有了新的理解——我们渴望被看见，但当注视的目光投射过来时，我们下意识地会隐藏自己不被对方看到。也可以表述成：我只让你看见我允许你看见的部分，对不同的人，我允许的被看见的程度是不一样的。

Now, I have a new understanding of being seen in relationships – we yearn to be seen, but when the gaze is projected onto us, we instinctively hide ourselves so as not to be seen by the other person. This can also be expressed as: I only let you see the parts of me that I allow you to see, and the degree to which I allow myself to be seen varies depending on the person.

这种分层源于我们对于关系的分层，我们越是允许对方看到更多的我，往往这段关系对我们有着更深刻的意义。对一段亲密关系而言，我相信不仅有我全然地愿意看见你，哪怕是消耗我自己的能量也要来看见你，同样也有你许可了我来看见你，并且看见一个完整而真实的你，这是在这段关系中你赋予我的特殊权利。

This kind of layering comes from our own layering in relationships. The more we allow the other person to see us, the deeper the relationship often means to us. In an intimate relationship, I believe that not only am I willing to see you completely, even if it exhausts my own energy, but you also allow me to see you and grant me the special privilege of seeing a complete and authentic version of you in this relationship.

对于什么是亲密关系、这段关系是不是一段好的亲密关系，网路上有着各式各样的解读，而在我看来，只需要问自己，我是否愿意让你成为我这本《看见日记》的唯一读者，不论你是否真的阅读，当我将看见的权利赋予你的那一刻，我愿意让你能够看见我的全部面向，哪怕最终你没有接纳我，你也是那个不会评判我的人。

There are various interpretations on what an intimate relationship is and whether a particular relationship is a good one or not. However, in my opinion, all you need to ask yourself is: am I willing to let you be the only reader of my the “Seeing Diary“, regardless of whether you actually read it or not? When I grant you the right to see me, I believe that you are the person who is willing to see all sides of me and accept me for who I am. Even if you do not ultimately accept me, you are still the person who will not judge me.

透过这本《看见日记》，你将看见一个无比真实的我，谢谢你认识我，谢谢你看见我。

Through this “Seeing Diary“, you will see a truly real me, thank you for getting to know me, and thank you for seeing me.